I am in the midst of a moral dilemma. As moral dilemmas go it’s not exactly a whopper, but it’s bothering me at a low but constant level, and I feel I need to share it with you, my gentle readers.
This dilemma involves a cat. It’s not even my cat. I have two, both wicked and splendid in their respective ways, but this creature is an interloper, a gatecrasher who is trying to muscle in on our small but happy tribe. He sidles in through the cat-flap and scarfs down my cats’ food, he explores the house with the commando caution of a ninja, and he even sleeps in my boys’ beds when they’re not looking. Last night he woke Girl1 by repeatedly trying to angle her goldfish out of its tank; my two have always ignored said fish, but to our new friend it’s clearly wearing a label that says ‘midnight snack’. We are infiltrated and invaded, and none of us know quite what to do about it.
My cats veer between slightly startled tolerance (“oh, hello, you appear to be in my bed again. No, don’t bother to move, I’ll just sleep here on the floor”) and outright spitting fury; there have been some memorably loud and violent clashes, most often just after midnight as I’m dropping off to sleep. Sometimes they even seem to welcome the intruder, and he certainly seems to like them. When they’re not trying to claw his eyes out, that is.
This cat – we’ve even given him a name, which he appears to answer to – is a startlingly beautiful creature, black and sleek with a delicate pointed face and the most astonishing amber eyes. He’s cautious and we don’t touch him often, but I have stroked him and even snuffled his head as I do with my own boys, and he is friendly and generous with his purring even as he maintains a dignified personal space. (Not like my two, who are complete tarts and will roll over for anyone who will rub their bellies.) I’m fond of him, and have occasionally dropped scraps of cheese for him, which he accepts as no more than his due.
None of this really constitutes a moral dilemma – invasion and colonisation, yes, dilemma, no. My problem is not the cat’s presence, although he startles me regularly. My dilemma is that I WANT TO KEEP HIM.
I have never fed him properly, although he is usually around when I feed my two. This, I feel, is a step too far – he has owners, and I even know who they are (neighbours about three houses away, who I’ve never spoken to but recognise to nod at when we pass in the street). Sullenly and guiltily, I think about how outraged I’d be if I discovered someone else was feeding my cats and trying to lure them away from home, and I stay my hand as it reaches for an extra saucer, an extra portion of food. I’m tempted, though – oh, so very tempted to try and adopt this beautiful creature that seems to prefer our house to his own. After all, he seems to have adopted us.
Here’s what I would do (really, I’d have no problem doing this): I’d pay the neighbours a friendly visit. Clearly they’re not very concerned about the cat’s whereabouts and spending time with him. If he’s eating elsewhere, chez vous (you mentioned you don’t feed him properly but that he is indeed scarfing down the other cats’ food), they surely suspect someone else is feeding him, because he won’t be scarfing down his food at their place—or else maybe they figure they don’t need to feed him because they let him out to run wild, and assume he’s munching mice and whatnot.
So I’d go over there and say, hey, I’m not sure if you know, but your cat is really gorgeous. And it so happens that he seems to like us as much as we like him. He comes over a lot, through the cat door, and we can’t help it: we have grown to love him. How would you feel about us adopting him? We’d love to have him and it wouldn’t really be all that much of a change for you: we’d continue feeding him and sleeping with him etc. (okay, that last bit was a bit snarky, but you know.) I don’t know, maybe it’s over the top with all the love, but whatever, you get my drift.
Seriously, I can’t see them caring. It sounds as if he’s not even let in at night. If they do care, they’re gits and are only saying no because of their pride. As I pointed out, they’re hardly concerned with him if he’s spending all his time with you.
PS. Of course you could always do what my aunt did, which was steal our next-door neighbour’s wee dog because it was always let loose to fend for itself and she couldn’t handle that. After visiting a few times, she scooped him up and took him home to Toronto (an hour away from where we lived, in Tottenham), and there she spoiled him to the end of his long days. He lived forever. It was crazy and hilarious.
Our next-door neighbours never came to ask if we’d seen the dog. So I’m happy my aunt took him!
I honestly don’t know whether they’d care or not – they moved in only a few months ago, and the cat is practically a kitten (under a year old, he was small and scrawny when he first appeared in our garden). I do wonder whether the simple explanation is that he’s a chancer, a classic Six-Dinner-Sid, and we’re only one of a number of regular haunts.
If he looked at all neglected or ill-cared-for I’d have no hesitation in feeding him, taking him to the vet to be checked out, basically adopting him. He’s sleek, glossy and healthy, though – which is a good thing, but it means I don’t have an excuse! We do like him and the children encourage him shamelessly, so maybe he’ll stick around anyway.
Bloody well done to your aunt – I’d have been applauding wildly. Hooray for brazen dog-theft and happy endings!
That’s what I said about my aunt, too! We all delighted in it. Trust the Maltese.
I saw if he’s sleeping with you, you’re the primary family. And it totally sounds like they don’t care. Hey, maybe he’s not even their cat (!); maybe he hangs out there the way he hangs out at your house too.
We had that problem but then we got a cat-flap which only opens when it senses our cat’s chip. It’s made life much better for her as she was getting freaked out by nocturnal visits from other cats from down the street. Our cat however; has decided to reward us by bringing in live mice at 3:30am and releasing them on our bed. How sweet.